currently working to be the weekend warrior always on top of things + constantly going above n beyond
feeling sassy and sensible and smart and stupid and aware and scared out of my mind yet perfectly at ease; trying to be a better friend, trying to be a better writer, trying to not get hung up on the arbitrary things, trying to spend more time dancing and twirling around in the sun, time with significant peeps, time soaking up ideas both comforting and disturbing, time relishing the ((mostly)) pleasant socal weather, time daring to be bold(er), trying to be more open to the often scary unknown trying to be better with straying off onto the road less travelled, trying to be self assured and successful with all that i dooo\
specifically, i hope that by the end of my being sixteen, i hope that i have: taken more risks in the publishing/editing/editorial world in addition to venturing into art/photography/filmmaking, gone on countless roadtrips, attended too many mindbogglingly amazing concerts, found more funky statement pieces from goodwills & salvations armys, ran a marathon// established a healthy eating pattern, strengthened relationships with people that matter, listened in on countless panels and discussions at sciarc/lapl, kicked some major college board BOOTY, tried gardening, become better at time management, learned to achieve balance.
I wish someone would randomly tell me little facts about myself. Not ones that I have already told them but ones they have picked up by themselves because they care enough to notice the little things I do.
How close is the ending, well, nobody knows
The future’s a mystery and anything goes
Love is confusing and life is hard
You fight to survive ‘cause you made it this far
It’s all too astounding to comprehend
It’s just the beginning this isn’t the end
sundays are dedicated to feeling some kinda feeling while reading and looking at beautiful things and getting spontaneous goosebumps ((either i get them very easily or i am blessed to be around beautiful things)) this song makes me feel so…ahhh
(✿ﾉ◡‿◡)ﾉ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ reminder that if u can’t get out of bed today that’s okay and if u feel like crying on public transportation that’s okay and if u got a bad mark on a test that’s okay because there are still so many forests to explore and cities to get lost in and dogs to pet and u are only a small star in a big universe and u are doing so well
so i would like to give some relationship advice to all the young girls (and guys) who may still actually take what i say somewhat seriously on this blog.
i know this may seem obvious, and i thought that it was obvious to me until i spent a grueling 2 years experiencing it.
for the love of GOD do not try to change someone you’re in a relationship with and for the love of GOD do not try and change yourself for the sake of a relationship. it is tempting to deify the person you are dating, because that gives YOU value to be VALIDATED by someone you’ve elevated to GOD STATUS. it may placate you temporarily to feel ACCEPTED.
but they are just a person. and so are you. and no one is right. and no one is wrong. and if you EVER catch yourself disliking parts of yourself because they rub your partner the wrong way, get the FUCK outta there because the self loathing will compound upon itself and you will LOSE yourself. i promise you, you will end up HATING yourself. you will DE-LEGITIMIZE your own emotions. and you will lose all ability to make YOUR OWN decisions for YOUR OWN happiness.
do not concern yourself with finding ACCEPTANCE EXTERNALLY. that is only a short-term dopamine rush, and if you aren’t careful, you will become ADDICTED and DEPENDENT on the dopamine rush that comes with “romantic” love. ROMANTIC LOVE WILL NOT MAKE YOU HAPPY. romantic love is not a SURROGATE for self-love. romantic love without self-love is just ADDICTION. acceptance can only come from within. happiness can only come from within.
love yourself first. be happy by yourself first. otherwise, you will second-guess yourself constantly. and you will second-guess your partner constantly because WHY WOULD YOU BELIEVE THAT SOMEONE LOVES YOU IF YOU DON’T EVEN LOVE YOURSELF? you will think that your partner is using you. you will only be concerned about proving your worth. you will be insecure and jealous and possessive, because you will always believe that you are A FRAUD waiting to be discovered. you will worry that s/he will find someone better. it doesn’t make any logical sense, and i know it sounds cliche, but please, girls especially, in a world that teaches you to hate yourself and compromise for a man, LOVE YOURSELF!!!!
gonna mope for a moment slow magic tickets are sold out :( unless you wanna sell them to me pls sell them to me omg :(
strict parents make sneaky kids, won free tickets at the last moment ((tears of joy)), over and out \m/